he calls
why always friends?...
i mean...i consider lots of people as friends, not in other way while I feel like failng in life doing this

i mean i always not satisfied what the God's giving me and i'm not satisfied with myself - when I actually understand what he gave was pretty good - with my receiving skills

and i try to rush-rush-rush not to lose what i've achieved lately and finally i lose like a damn old loser
and now AGAIN
don't seek for explanation.
don't really think i'm writing some particular thoughts which were overthought and now look so damn ugly
nuuuuh-uh i am just looking for some sort of answers, i mean the ways how to overcome and/or ignore some of my disAbilities and not suffer for living life purposelessly, and actually not to suffer at all.
oh well, i can say i am such a bad writer today